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The value of reflecting

Jun 13, 2024
Beacons, twirly skirts and feedback.

Last week turned out to be full of reflection for me, about historic global events, about long-forgotten personal memories and about recent work conversations too.  It’s far from easy to make time for reflection in our headlong sprint to get through the day or week and accomplish our ‘to do’ lists. But what does it cost us to be always rushing ahead? What are we missing by not pausing to look back?

Last Thursday marked the 80 year anniversary of the D-Day landings on Normandy beaches. I happened to listen to a veteran speaking on the radio as I drove back from the school drop-off, and was so moved emotionally by his reflections that I had to park up to wipe my eyes and give his words my full attention. It was poignant to know that the 25 or so remaining veterans – most in their nineties - are unlikely to be present at the 90th anniversary. This was one of our remaining chances to hear their testimonies first-hand before their memories passed definitively into history. I’m so glad I got to hear his words, they shifted for ever my understanding and appreciation of those world-order-changing events. I wished my 12 year old daughter could have listened too. I took her with me to the lighting of the beacon in our village that evening to remember the courage and sacrifice of so many that bought us our freedom today.

Last week also saw me dusting off a file that my father had quietly filled throughout the first 3 decades of my life (he died suddenly aged 59, when I was 28). Inside are certificate, letters and other assorted papers all preserving tiny forgotten details for me to remember, laugh and cry over. From my Grade 1 ballet exam aged 6 which I scraped through, marked down because of ‘excessive skirt twirling’, to a badly scrawled declaration of love from the 7 year old boy down the road, to letters in verse penned by my father to me while I was away for long spells at boarding school. And pretty much every school report I’d ever received. I was taken aback to see how often ‘Helen could contribute more actively in class’, ‘Helen is too quiet’ and ‘Helen doesn’t speak up enough’ reverberated in teachers’ pithy feedback. I found myself wondering what the definition of a high-performing student was in those days; I clearly fell short by their standards yet to everyone’s surprise (and most of all, my own) I emerged with straight As at A-level. I took two big reflections from this absorbing and often emotional meander through my life file: firstly, that potential can easily fly under the radar when you look through a narrow lens and secondly (with a full heart here), that my father’s pride in and love for me shone through every treasured scrap of paper.

 

On the work front, last week I was looking through some of the post-workshop feedback from teams who have recently participated in my Time-Intelligent Team sessions. These are 2 hour, in-person (or hybrid) workshops that help teams to identify changes within their control that can help them work smarter not harder and have a more engaging, motivating experience of work. In other words, to get more done and to get more out of work. I was fascinated to see the following comments come up frequently: ‘it enabled us to step back and evaluate how we can really get the best out of ourselves as a team’, ‘it was so useful to hear [the team’s] perspectives on obstacles and efficiencies’, ‘we all thoroughly enjoyed the session’. ‘ These words underline for me how much people value the chance to reflect, post-deadline or on a regular basis, on how they’re working together, what they’re doing well and where the frustrations lie. People crave these opportunities to slow down and reap the learning, they don’t want to rush straight onto the next project or deadline. They also appreciate the opportunity to acknowledge and celebrate their achievements; reflecting in this way together can build powerful team bonds and a strong, motivating sense of ‘we’re in this together’.

 

If your team is reeling from one deadline after another, or you want to help them be well-positioned for a stretching period ahead, or you’re wondering why there’s a high level of task or interpersonal friction undermining performance or retention, then take a look at the workshop details and pick a time here for us to chat. If you’d love some help but got no budget right now, click here to download my free guide to creating a Team Time Contract.


Racing ahead without making time for reflection means we miss out on the powerful insights that can help us shape a better tomorrow. And the act of reflecting itself can be transformative, enriching our experience and our relationships with others.  So let's pause, reflect, celebrate, learn and
then move forwards.

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Cup of tea and large slice of cake in hand. 5. Saying yes to coffees and phone calls with friends even when work and life feel too busy and I’m tempted to say ‘not this week’. I never regret making the time. Why not ask the same question to colleagues in your team? Your close friends or family? It might spark a new kind of conversation. And you might well discover that your future has already arrived.
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