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The unexpected joy of meetings
23 November 2021
I know. The word ‘meeting’ probably makes you inwardly groan, not jump for joy. Another commitment to fill up our work diary and eat into our precious time? No thanks. But in the past week, I’ve come to see meetings in a new, more uplifting light.
Disclaimer: this blog post isn’t going to persuade you how to fall back in love with routine, familiar meetings that feel oh-so-familiar. Or to stop you gritting your teeth at a badly run meeting with an unclear purpose. Or to reach for your Zoom app to schedule another video call. I fully acknowledge that the ebb and flow - or rather, ceaselessly incoming tide - of day-to-day work meetings can take their toll and leave us mentally depleted or physically itching to get on our with our to-do lists.
But that’s partly my point. It’s so easy to get used to our regular meeting routines and habits that we can forget a different kind of meeting also exists, one that has the power to refresh and revitalise us intellectually and emotionally. In our cult of busyness, we tend to focus so hard on the next goals or task that we end up accidentally de-prioritising time for non-urgent but deeply rewarding conversations with people on the fringes of our networks. Or those close to us in terms of shared experiences or histories but now further away geographically, or working in a different company or industry. Ex-colleagues, university friends, extended family members or other contacts who now live and work abroad.
In the past week, a number of unusual things have coincided for me. I’ve met up in person on a 1:1 basis with a few people with whom I have been in less frequent contact with over the last few months, even years. I’ve been visiting venues for the London launch of my business book next February, sparking new conversations with individuals I’ve not met before. I’ve attended a celebration at London Business School of a major piece of research into Board diversity and effectiveness in which I played a small role. And most wonderfully of all, I opened our door on Sunday to find my two grown-up stepchildren standing there. Given they now live in Australia and had kept their trip a surprise, you can imagine my shock and sheer delight to see them in the flesh after more than two long years of Covid-enforced separation.
No doubt you're thinking 'of course, long overdue family reunions are bound to be joyful'. Indeed, or at least, I certainly hope so. But so too, in their own way, were all my other meetings. Here are 5 reasons why:
1. Setting aside time regularly to catch up with people with whom we're in less regular contact.
2. Meeting people (safely) in person. The quality of our conversations is so enhanced by seeing each other live, not across a computer screen.
3. Asking open questions and listening hard. We can learn so much more in our short interactions by being in ‘receiving’ not ‘sending’ mode.
4. Asking ‘what matters to you right now? How can I help you succeed?’ and asking for help as well on something we’re trying to make happen.
So I invite you to take a few minutes to look through your address book or list of contacts. Who have you not spent time with lately? Which friendships and professional relationships do you want to keep investing in? When will you make that happen?
If this has resonated for you, I’d love to hear your thoughts and any unexpected joy you have discovered in a recent meeting. And if our paths have crossed in the past and it’s been a while since we’ve spoken, watch out for an invitation coming from me soon!
Disclaimer: this blog post isn’t going to persuade you how to fall back in love with routine, familiar meetings that feel oh-so-familiar. Or to stop you gritting your teeth at a badly run meeting with an unclear purpose. Or to reach for your Zoom app to schedule another video call. I fully acknowledge that the ebb and flow - or rather, ceaselessly incoming tide - of day-to-day work meetings can take their toll and leave us mentally depleted or physically itching to get on our with our to-do lists.
But that’s partly my point. It’s so easy to get used to our regular meeting routines and habits that we can forget a different kind of meeting also exists, one that has the power to refresh and revitalise us intellectually and emotionally. In our cult of busyness, we tend to focus so hard on the next goals or task that we end up accidentally de-prioritising time for non-urgent but deeply rewarding conversations with people on the fringes of our networks. Or those close to us in terms of shared experiences or histories but now further away geographically, or working in a different company or industry. Ex-colleagues, university friends, extended family members or other contacts who now live and work abroad.
In the past week, a number of unusual things have coincided for me. I’ve met up in person on a 1:1 basis with a few people with whom I have been in less frequent contact with over the last few months, even years. I’ve been visiting venues for the London launch of my business book next February, sparking new conversations with individuals I’ve not met before. I’ve attended a celebration at London Business School of a major piece of research into Board diversity and effectiveness in which I played a small role. And most wonderfully of all, I opened our door on Sunday to find my two grown-up stepchildren standing there. Given they now live in Australia and had kept their trip a surprise, you can imagine my shock and sheer delight to see them in the flesh after more than two long years of Covid-enforced separation.
No doubt you're thinking 'of course, long overdue family reunions are bound to be joyful'. Indeed, or at least, I certainly hope so. But so too, in their own way, were all my other meetings. Here are 5 reasons why:
- They took me out of my daily/weekly routine and gave me a different experience. That alone was revitalising.
- I heard different stories and learned more about different industries from an insider. Seeing the world through someone else's eyes, even for a short time, has enriched my own perspective.
- We found out about what mattered to each other, what our respective hopes and goals were, and we were able to ask and offer help, professionally, to one another. I felt encouraged and delighted by this support.
- The conversations sparked new ideas; I came back with my head buzzing with possibilities for my own work life and business plan.
- Above all, I’ve made new connections, strengthened professional ties, deepened old friendships and spent time with people I care enormously about. That fits with my life and business goals of building positive, mutually rewarding relationships.
1. Setting aside time regularly to catch up with people with whom we're in less regular contact.
2. Meeting people (safely) in person. The quality of our conversations is so enhanced by seeing each other live, not across a computer screen.
3. Asking open questions and listening hard. We can learn so much more in our short interactions by being in ‘receiving’ not ‘sending’ mode.
4. Asking ‘what matters to you right now? How can I help you succeed?’ and asking for help as well on something we’re trying to make happen.
So I invite you to take a few minutes to look through your address book or list of contacts. Who have you not spent time with lately? Which friendships and professional relationships do you want to keep investing in? When will you make that happen?
If this has resonated for you, I’d love to hear your thoughts and any unexpected joy you have discovered in a recent meeting. And if our paths have crossed in the past and it’s been a while since we’ve spoken, watch out for an invitation coming from me soon!
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